求3分钟的的英语笑话一篇
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
老师：汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆：我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行."
不行还有：
Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?
Jack: Certainly.
Tom: And why?
Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.
汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑.我该不该借给他?
杰克：当然应该了.
汤姆：为什么?
杰克：否则他就该跟我借了.
Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的?
汤姆：我刚吃完药,可我忘了先摇瓶子了
英语幽默故事带翻译.2分钟无人物对话
After reading an article entitled 'Cigarette Smoking and Your Health' I lit a cigarette to calm my nerves.I smoked with concentration and pleasure as I was sure that this would be my last cigarette.For a whole week I did not smoke at all and during this time,my wife suffered terribly.I had all the usual symptoms of someone giving up smoking:a bad temper and an enormous appetite.My friends kept on offering me cigarettes and cigars.They made no effort to hide their amusement whenever I produced a sweets from my pocket.After seven days of this I went to a party.Everybody around me was smoking and I felt extremely uncomfortable.When my old friend Brian urged me to accept a cigarette,it was more than I could bear.I took one guiltily,lit it and smoked with satisfaction.My wife was delighted that things had returned to normal once more.Anyway,as Brian pointed out,it is the easiest thing in the world to give up smoking.He himself has done it lots of times!
参考译文
读完一篇题为《吸烟与健康》的文章之后,我点上了一枝香烟,来镇定一下自己紧张的神经.我聚精会神而又愉快地吸着这枝烟.因为我确信这是我最后一枝烟了.整整一个星期我根本没有吸烟.在此期间,我妻子吃尽了苦头.我具备了戒烟者通常表现出来的所有症状：脾气暴躁和食欲旺盛.我的朋友们不断地向我递香烟和雪茄.每当我从口袋里掏出一包糖果时,他们都毫不掩饰地表现出他们对此感到非常好笑.这样过了7天以后,我去参加一次聚会.我周围的每个人都在吸烟,我感到非常不自在.当我的老朋友布赖恩极力劝我接受一枝香烟时,我再也忍不住了.我内疚地接过一枝点上,心满意足地抽起来.一切又都恢复了正常,为此我妻子十分高兴.不管怎么说,正如布赖恩指出的那样,戒烟是世界上最容易的事情,他自己就已戒了很多次了!
急求英语幽默小故事1
Speeding A speeding motorist was waved down by a police patrol car.“I'm going to give you a ticket for speeding,” said the policeman,writing his note.“You've been driving over 60 miles per hour.” ...